SO last night I had a crazy dream about being in a bar with a friend and eating a ton of salsa and chips. Totally thrown off (and kind of hungry) I wondered why my brain had nothing better to think about while I was sleeping. This morning I brought my Nurtisystem (NS) food with me thinking "this will be convenient to not have to go anywhere for lunch". I got on Facebook like normal and commented on a friends page and she wrote back and I went to text her and realized that some how I didn't have her number in my cell phone anymore. The android to iPhone adjustment wasn't as smooth as I thought it would be. So after getting her number I found out that in the last 3 weeks she has lost 23 pounds just by walking. I would be thrilled if I could lost 23 pounds TOTAL it doesn't even have to be that fast. So she totally motivated me and told me that I should go walking with her. She ends up living at the apartment complex across from where I work!!! So I can bring clothes with me to work and her and I are going to go walk. I am so excited. She has totally motivated me and I am thrilled that I get to reconnect with a friend I went to St. Marys with AND have a weight loss buddy. She even said she would play tennis with me and she used to play so I am thrilled.
I have a really positive outlook today and can't wait to get started. We have a walking date for Friday at 9:15pm. I am so excited. Its going to be a blast. She also invited me to go to the Texas Folklife Festival on Sunday with them. I really want to go but its going to be HOT and require a lot of walking. Perfect for weight loss but not overly appealing. We will see how it goes. Maybe I can talk Toby in to taking me and then him and I can do some fun thing together and meet up with her.
Positive things coming my way!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I'm having a Monday on a Tuesday (that just doesn't seem fair)
So I am excited to report that Summer session for school started. (sarcasm) I swear 2 weeks off isn't enough to maintain my sanity. I did, however, give myself a break and only took 2 online courses this semester that way I'm not having to drive back and forth from school to work to home and then back again. That wore me out very quickly.
Since the last time I blogged I have don't NOTHING that I wrote about. Not a single thing. I have thought about doing things...I consider that "mentally preparing" myself. At least that sounds better then being lazy. I did go lay in the tanning bed yesterday but that hardly constitutes self improvement. I did go get my hair done last Saturday, color and cut. HATE the cut. I cute off about 7 inches and its right at my shoulders now...(NOTE TO SELF: Casey, you do NOT look good with short hair) Can't wait for this mistake to grow out.
Riddle me this, WHY in the world do people that love you continue to tell you little white lies? And where did that expression come from? Why "white"? Anyway...I need to find a better way of communicating my thoughts and feelings to my boyfriend or I am going to start referring to him as my ex boyfriend. Love the guy to death but it takes everything I have not to suffocate him with a pillow while he sleeps. I think it bothers me so much because I have trust issues. Ahhh, yes, another thing I need to work on.
While I am thinking about it I would also like to add to the list of things I need to work on FRIENDS. I need to reevaluate the ones I have and really make an effort to bring more people into my life. I feel that I have out-grown some of my friends and they have nothing but problems and that brings me down. I need nothing but positive things in my life and I also need to make sure that I am the positive thing in other peoples life. I have two very good friends that I can always count on and that will always be there for me. And I have several friends that would never be there for me when I needed them but I am the person that they come to when they need something. I also have many acquaintances that would say they would be there for me but we both know that I would never go to them with anything and they would never be there for me. I think I am the kind of person that would rather have a few really great friends them a lot of "just ok" friends. I need more variety in my life that's for sure.
Back to work I go.
Since the last time I blogged I have don't NOTHING that I wrote about. Not a single thing. I have thought about doing things...I consider that "mentally preparing" myself. At least that sounds better then being lazy. I did go lay in the tanning bed yesterday but that hardly constitutes self improvement. I did go get my hair done last Saturday, color and cut. HATE the cut. I cute off about 7 inches and its right at my shoulders now...(NOTE TO SELF: Casey, you do NOT look good with short hair) Can't wait for this mistake to grow out.
Riddle me this, WHY in the world do people that love you continue to tell you little white lies? And where did that expression come from? Why "white"? Anyway...I need to find a better way of communicating my thoughts and feelings to my boyfriend or I am going to start referring to him as my ex boyfriend. Love the guy to death but it takes everything I have not to suffocate him with a pillow while he sleeps. I think it bothers me so much because I have trust issues. Ahhh, yes, another thing I need to work on.
While I am thinking about it I would also like to add to the list of things I need to work on FRIENDS. I need to reevaluate the ones I have and really make an effort to bring more people into my life. I feel that I have out-grown some of my friends and they have nothing but problems and that brings me down. I need nothing but positive things in my life and I also need to make sure that I am the positive thing in other peoples life. I have two very good friends that I can always count on and that will always be there for me. And I have several friends that would never be there for me when I needed them but I am the person that they come to when they need something. I also have many acquaintances that would say they would be there for me but we both know that I would never go to them with anything and they would never be there for me. I think I am the kind of person that would rather have a few really great friends them a lot of "just ok" friends. I need more variety in my life that's for sure.
Back to work I go.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
As I sit hear and think about whats for lunch I am also thinking about how badly I need to lose weight. Ironic? Not if you are me. I think about this constantly "I need to lose weight" and "whats my next meal going to be" are the two most common thoughts in my head. I need to lose weight, BUT I enjoy eating all the wrong things...plus I am an emotional eater and that doesn't help.
I turned 29 a couple of days ago and took it pretty rough. I'm not married, I have no kids (or even plans for kids), and I have no career and am still in school. I feel like I need to go to the moon and back in the next 365 days. There is so many things that I promised myself I would be or do by the time I was 30. I am no where close. Boy, did I set myself up for disappointment?
Out of all the things I need and want to get done in the next year I can't help but think of the physical changes I would like to make to myself. Does that make me shallow? Why aren't my first thoughts that I have to make all "A's" in my classes to raise my GPA? Is there something wrong with me? Do all people do this? I keep thinking in my twisted mind that beautiful people much have life so easy. I know in my 29 year old mind that this is a false statement so why do I keep coming back to this?
I need to fix the inside and the outside will follow (or at least that's what I keep promising myself). So this year is about ME. I am going to do me and work on my and if it doesn't work for me then I am going to change to something that does.
THINGS I NEED TO FIX
1. My heart. I need to strengthen my heart. Physically and emotionally. I know that my heart health is not where it should be. My father has a bad heart and I know that heart desiease runs in the family and yet I have been so busy and lazy that I haven't made an effort to keep my heart healthy. Emotionally my heart has been wrecked. I know that our past is our past and its supposed to stay that way but its very hard. I need to work on letting things go and not thinking that because one person broke my heart that its not repairable.
2. My energy. I need more energy physically as well as mentally. I consider mental energy as motivation...I need mental energy to get myself to the gym in the mornings and to help me study at night. I know going to the gym would make me feel better but its so hard to start.
3. My age. I know I can't literally do anythign about my age but I can try to take care of myself more and appear younger. I feel that I am looking older then I am and that doesn't do much for my selfesteem.
4. My confidence. I've never had any so I guess "aquiring confidence" would be the best place to start. There isn't to much that I honestly like about my physical appearence but I am working on it. I hate how chunky my arms are BUT within the last week I have gotten over that and started wearing sleeveless shirts. I'm not totally confortable in them but when its 100 degrees outside...I don't care if my arms are fat as long as I'm a little bit cooler then I would be with a baggy oversized short sleve shirt on.
5. My attitude. I think for the most part I have a pretty good attitude but lately I have really been a "glass half empty" person and Im not sure why. I like to laugh and I would say that I have a pretty good sense of humor so I need to figure out what exactly has me being so negative.
Those are the main 5 things that I can think of (for right now) that I am going to want to work on over the span of the next year. I am goign to try to blog on a regular basis just to keep myself from holding things in. I also think that it will be a helpful tool. I am looking forward to going back and reading what I have written to see where I can make changes in the way I am living my life.
I hope that you continue to follow me in my journey from my late twenties to my early thirties.
I turned 29 a couple of days ago and took it pretty rough. I'm not married, I have no kids (or even plans for kids), and I have no career and am still in school. I feel like I need to go to the moon and back in the next 365 days. There is so many things that I promised myself I would be or do by the time I was 30. I am no where close. Boy, did I set myself up for disappointment?
Out of all the things I need and want to get done in the next year I can't help but think of the physical changes I would like to make to myself. Does that make me shallow? Why aren't my first thoughts that I have to make all "A's" in my classes to raise my GPA? Is there something wrong with me? Do all people do this? I keep thinking in my twisted mind that beautiful people much have life so easy. I know in my 29 year old mind that this is a false statement so why do I keep coming back to this?
I need to fix the inside and the outside will follow (or at least that's what I keep promising myself). So this year is about ME. I am going to do me and work on my and if it doesn't work for me then I am going to change to something that does.
THINGS I NEED TO FIX
1. My heart. I need to strengthen my heart. Physically and emotionally. I know that my heart health is not where it should be. My father has a bad heart and I know that heart desiease runs in the family and yet I have been so busy and lazy that I haven't made an effort to keep my heart healthy. Emotionally my heart has been wrecked. I know that our past is our past and its supposed to stay that way but its very hard. I need to work on letting things go and not thinking that because one person broke my heart that its not repairable.
2. My energy. I need more energy physically as well as mentally. I consider mental energy as motivation...I need mental energy to get myself to the gym in the mornings and to help me study at night. I know going to the gym would make me feel better but its so hard to start.
3. My age. I know I can't literally do anythign about my age but I can try to take care of myself more and appear younger. I feel that I am looking older then I am and that doesn't do much for my selfesteem.
4. My confidence. I've never had any so I guess "aquiring confidence" would be the best place to start. There isn't to much that I honestly like about my physical appearence but I am working on it. I hate how chunky my arms are BUT within the last week I have gotten over that and started wearing sleeveless shirts. I'm not totally confortable in them but when its 100 degrees outside...I don't care if my arms are fat as long as I'm a little bit cooler then I would be with a baggy oversized short sleve shirt on.
5. My attitude. I think for the most part I have a pretty good attitude but lately I have really been a "glass half empty" person and Im not sure why. I like to laugh and I would say that I have a pretty good sense of humor so I need to figure out what exactly has me being so negative.
Those are the main 5 things that I can think of (for right now) that I am going to want to work on over the span of the next year. I am goign to try to blog on a regular basis just to keep myself from holding things in. I also think that it will be a helpful tool. I am looking forward to going back and reading what I have written to see where I can make changes in the way I am living my life.
I hope that you continue to follow me in my journey from my late twenties to my early thirties.
Intro to what you are about to witness
I needed an outlet. I needed a place to put my words down so I will stop hearing so many voices in my head. That's totally a joke, I don't hear voices.
Psychologists say that sarcasm is a form of aggression. If this is true I am a pit bull. I have a quick witty sense of humor with a touch of vulgarity. I'm not overly sensitive and usually offend people that are.
I have gone up (mentally) so much in these last few years that it amazes myself and I wanted a place to tell my story so that maybe others can grow from my plethora of mistakes. I am NOT perfect and I know I never will be but I feel like I am a lot closer then I used to be. (There is the sarcasm I was talking about)
Sometimes life gets me so frustrated that I need to let my thoughts out or I need to yell and scream and cause a scene and since I can't do that I am going to write a blog and hope that one person reads it, if this is accomplished then I will feel like I don't have to get my feelings out anymore.
Psychologists say that sarcasm is a form of aggression. If this is true I am a pit bull. I have a quick witty sense of humor with a touch of vulgarity. I'm not overly sensitive and usually offend people that are.
I have gone up (mentally) so much in these last few years that it amazes myself and I wanted a place to tell my story so that maybe others can grow from my plethora of mistakes. I am NOT perfect and I know I never will be but I feel like I am a lot closer then I used to be. (There is the sarcasm I was talking about)
Sometimes life gets me so frustrated that I need to let my thoughts out or I need to yell and scream and cause a scene and since I can't do that I am going to write a blog and hope that one person reads it, if this is accomplished then I will feel like I don't have to get my feelings out anymore.
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